By the Hand
by OhGreat
Summary: Shunsui pressed a hand against Nanao’s face and declared, “Oh, if you were a castle, I’d be your moat, and if you were an ocean, I’d learn to float!” ShunsuiNanao one-shot. Prepare for the intensity.


_By the Hand_

* * *

Shunsui was a happy, generally delirious breed of gentlemen with a disdain for any form of modesty, work, and overall unpleasantries. He liked to make up rules and then not follow them, of course everyone else would have to, he just wouldn't, and then for the rest of the day, sleep. Typically, drinking came first, which prompted the sleep, but whatever order didn't really matter—the important thing was, Shunsui took siestas, and you dealt with it.

It was on a Friday afternoon that he declared that anyone wearing pink would be the ones to go clean the training rooms. Nanao, sitting at her desk, had to remind him _he_ was wearing pink, so he switched it to anyone wearing blue. Of course, no shinigami wore blue, which occasioned him to assign the task to anyone wearing black. The entirety of Division Eight groaned unanimously.

Nanao drummed her fingers rhythmically against the grain of her desk and raised an eyebrow. "Sir, are you sure that's wise, sending most of your officers on cleaning duty?"

Shunsui, leaning back in his chair, replied, "My dear Nanao-chan, have you _seen_ those rooms? Sending half my officers might not get the job done!"

The training rooms were a wreck because Division Eight did not train. The Eighth danced with the Eleventh in a deadly waltz of fists and clashing swords, but outside the occasional tumble, training wasn't a big priority. Sleeping was. Drinking, more. Harassing women in a tactless attempt to pick up a date, oh, that was it. Humiliation wasn't gauged by the number of battles you lost but by the number of women who turned you down.

Nanao shook her head gently and returned to her desk's work, finding the paragraph she'd stopped at. "Captain, these need your signatures."

"Can't you forge them for me?"

"Sir, that didn't work last time, need I remind you."

'Last time' consisted of Shunsui disregarding a document the Twelfth's Mayuri needed pronto, forcing Nanao to sign it, royally pissing off Mayuri and half his division into the next dimension. In the two weeks following, Nanao had never seen so many Division Twelve officers verbally threaten Shunsui with promises of spy cameras and blackmail. It didn't work, because Shunsui couldn't be blackmailed (could _you_ blackmail a man who used his work time to vamp up his private life?). But nevertheless, no one wanted a repeat.

"My lovely Nanao-chan, I'm afraid you worry too much! Those documents are from Jūshirō! He'll understand!"

"Sir."

Shunsui peeked open an eye and sighed. "How many?"

"Twenty."

"Ah! _Twenty_? Jūshirō is trying to kill me!"

"Oh, captain, my captain?" Nanao said with as little sarcasm as she could muster. She pushed away from the desk and stood in one quick movement, walking to Shunsui's desk and flopping the papers down with a swoosh.

"At least grace me with the time; the day's too long," Shunsui complained, picking up his pen and scribbling his signature in the most inartistic fashion Nanao had ever seen. She sighed and looked at the clock.

"It's nearing six, sir," she deadpanned and wondered why she just didn't lie to him instead, because a second later, Shunsui had jumped up from his desk.

"Six? Why, I think it's time to call it a day!" he announced, shoving the papers in a place that would most likely be forgotten.

Nanao pressed her glasses upward before crossing her arms in ardent disapproval. "_Ten_ 'til six, sir."

Shunsui shrugged her off. "Same difference!"

Shunsui took a lot of liberties with that phrase. The one time he'd accidentally sent his tenth seat to Division Eleven instead of Division Four, he'd replied as nonchalantly as ever, "Same difference. If I know the Eleventh, he'll get there one way or the other." _The other_ happened to be a one-way trip to the emergency room, but at least Shunsui was sort of correct—the tenth seat did eventually get to Division Four.

"Now, enough with your chronological preciseness, you look famished, my dear. Allow me to buy you dinner tonight to show my undying gratitude for your hard work!"

"Sir, that was quite a mouthful."

"Yes, yes it was. Shall we?"

"I'm going home to rest, captain," Nanao replied in an attempt to sidestep a blatant refusal.

Though sidestepping rarely worked, because while it wasn't technically an acceptance, it certainly wasn't denying him, either.

Shunsui nodded, "Fantastic! Bar or restaurant?"

Nanao sighed.

* * *

Somehow, and Nanao wasn't sure how, they ended up at restaurant just outside the Seireitei, buzzing with people (drunk people) and local officers. They found a seat on the port side of the restaurant and sat at a low grounded table, waiting for food (at least Nanao was) and alcohol (which Shunsui was).

Of course, the low lights and corner table made their outing look suspiciously like a date, but Nanao wasn't about to say it and _confirm_ the very thing she didn't want. Instead, she sat there quietly and tried to think of paperwork or a faxing machine or _something_ that translated a bored expression across her face.

Shunsui didn't notice because sake had been served, and he probably wouldn't notice anything for the rest of the night.

Nanao watched him, with a mixture of amusement and disgust, guzzle down a cup of sake and start on a fresh one just a second later.

"There's nothing like a good cup of sake and the company of a lovely lady," Shunsui said, waving his glass in the air unceremoniously. "Though I think your company might just beat the sake, my Nanao-chan."

She'd heard the compliment enough times to disregard it without a change in emotion, but for some reason, her lips twitched upward, and good lord, was she _smiling_?

Shunsui caught it immediately and said with shocking sobriety, "You should smile more."

Nanao swallowed her tea like a lake swallowed a rock, leaving the aftermath of a large lump pulsing in her throat. "Sir," she mumbled, because neutrality was always the safest route to take when dealing with a man who drank and hit on women as an extracurricular activity.

When the food arrived, it served as a distraction, which neither Nanao nor Shunsui seemed to mind. Not to mention she could eat twelve Zarakis at that moment.

As expected, the longer the dinner continued the drunker Shunsui became and the more irritated Nanao was feeling. The man sitting before her must have been a cow in his previous life, because a single stomach could _not_ hold as much food and alcohol that Shunsui managed to devour.

By eight o' clock, he was wasted, and Nanao was tired.

"Captain, maybe we should leave," Nanao murmured across the table, noting Shunsui's incoherent speech and wobbly posture.

Shunsui waved a hand at her. "Nonsense! The night is young!"

Nanao sighed again.

"My lovely lieutenant, we need to have dinner together more often. Why, every night! Just you and me. A good dinner, the finest sake, and you know what _that_ leads to—"

Nanao threw a utensil at his head and didn't miss.

"Ow! My Nanao-chan has such good aim…Ow…" He tried to rub his forehead but instead fell over.

"Uh…sir?"

"You've killed me, Nanao-chan, you're the new captain of the Eighth!"

Nanao rolled her eyes. Oh, good lord.

Shunsui continued, "But really, that wouldn't be so bad," he said, sitting up, "you could easily be a captain."

The rate Shunsui could change topics was incredible.

"Sir, I'm fine where I am," Nanao replied.

"But then you'd leave me!" Shunsui cried, completely ignoring Nanao's comment. "What would I do without you?"

There was a plethora of things Nanao could've said, four of which might get her demoted but probably wouldn't, so she didn't say anything.

Shunsui took a swig from his sake cup and wobbled some more, signaling that it really was time to leave.

Nanao leaned in and whispered, "We should probably get going."

But Shunsui was hardly ready to leave. Instead, he grabbed the bottle of sake, and with a powerfully baritone voice he'd never really released before, sang, "My lovely Nanao-chan…If you were a flower growing wild and free, all I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee!"

Nanao, who was in a mid-standing motion, froze.

Shunsui held up the bottle and proclaimed, "And if I was a tree growing tall and green, all I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves!"

Nanao, whose face hadn't gone red yet simply because she was as confused as hell, glanced up and said, "Uh, sir—"

Shunsui unevenly poured himself a glass of sake, but he missed the glass and poured the majority of the contents onto the ground. Instead, he firmly latched a hand around Nanao's wrist and pulled them both up away from the table, and said, "All I want is you, my lovely Nanao-chan! Will you stay with me? Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea!"

The porcelain exterior of Nanao's face was replaced with a fiery red, sinking into her checks and just beneath her eyes. Oh, for crying out loud—

"If you were a river in the mountains tall, the rumble of your water would be my call!"

"Sir—"

"If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow, just as long as you were with me when the cold winds blow, Nanao-chan!"

People were starting to stare. No, that was an understatement in a _half_—people were gawking, and then they were smirking, and Nanao knew someone was laughing somewhere. Shunsui snaked an arm around her waist as she tried to pull back, and he only sang more, slurring slightly as if to affirm his drunken state: "If you were a castle, I'd be your moat, and if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float!"

"Captain, this is ridiculous, remove your—"

Her face was burning. Shunsui was ungracious enough over the years to have groped her in public and one time announced they'd eloped, but nothing so drastic that she looked like a lobster! It was degradation, it was embarrassment, it was crude, it was—

Love, apparently.

Shunsui tilted his head back gently and said, quite softly, "All I want is you, Nanao. Will you be my bride?"

And then he fell backwards and passed out.

For what seemed like a century, Nanao stared down at her incapacitated captain, and then with the earnest of a true Division Eight officer, stepped over his body and took a very, very long swig of his sake.

* * *

-END

* * *

A/N: I just washed my cell phone in the washer, so please, if you're not too busy, leave an awesome review. I would really appreciate it.

The lyrics Shunsui's sings are from the _Juno_ soundtrack. The song's called "All I Want Is You" and it's absolutely adorable. Youtube it!

Btw, _unpleastantries_ isn't a word and I could care less. : )

Disclaimer: Don't own Juno or BLEACH.


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